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Fake video game music for fake video games with fake synth sounds made by real guitars. Call the Tipline of the Shitty Wizard: (888) 351-2666. Updated whim-ishly. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.
For Some Reason This Overland Map Is Inexplicably Covered In A Dense Fog Of War
572A Horde of Orcs Have Broken Through The Gates And I'm Looking to Boil Them Alive, Not Just Simmer Them
423Dutifully I Leave The Castle With Only My Staff Plus A Purse Brimming With The Purest Uncut Poppies
424Summon The Scrivener As I Cannot Fathom What Arcana This Fucking Tome Conceals
415Tell That Bard To Shut The Fuck Up
396Somewhere In This Castle Is A Carefully-Hidden Switch That Provides Access To A Secret Antechamber (Which Seems Like Bad Planning Or A Design Flaw, Honestly)
387Actually Yes, If You Must Know, I Do My Best Scrying Whilst Drunk
388Sometimes I Dream The Hollow Voice That Calls Me “Fool” Might Offer Suggestions On How I Can Better Myself
379So It Turns Out That The Dragon's Treasure Is Actually Just 200 Years of Feculent Dragon Effluvia
3610I Refuse To Believe This Multi-Level Dungeon Was Formed Naturally Over Several Eons Because There Are Fucking Stairs Between Floors
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Tales of the Shitty Wizard

Exile of the Shitty Wizard

Inventory of the Shitty Wizard

Penitence of the Shitty Wizard

Side Quest of the Shitty Wizard
Side Quest of the Shitty Wizard (flop013)
Creatures
Assault on Castle Dreadpathia

Sometimes As I Wander Around This Kingdom I Fantasize That a Wyvern Might Swoop Down and Disembowel That Asshole of an Armorer Who Made Me Pay for Bracers Instead of Just Giving Them To Me

How to Win at Shitty Wizard
Split with Retrogoblin

The Shitty Wizard's Fantasy