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Artist
District Ugly
7+ albums
raphip hopUK hip hopalternativeunderground hip hop
about
It's not big, it's not clever, it's not one of the beautiful people. It's stumbling over your words after a beer, stumbling over your feet after two. It's not charming, suave or unique. It's the low expectation of no motivation, and standards higher than your means. Which means, it's District Ugly. If you don't like our music, you're probably racist or have sex with fat women. FACT. Joey Blitz was born and raised in the verdant glens of Scotland. He drinks his tea with two sugars, and likes his women how he likes his coffee; bitter and ice cold. As an impressionable young lad, Joey came across the carcass of a homeless person; being the adventurous sort, he used his father's xylophone sticks to play a riveting tune upon the cadaver's ribs. Ill-Reg happened to be passing by, and heard the wonderful, sonorous sound of dull, wet flesh-thumping. Although disappointed that it was not the sound of hardcore horse bumsex, he was pleased to have found an impressionable musical virtuoso that he could chain to a computer and whip for his daily beats. Like an extreme skateboarding competition in your mother's vulva, Ill-Regular has been collectively rolling on pussies since the days of offset lithographic printable pornography. Ill-Reg is 98% carbon neutral, with a seed plantage to tissue usage ratio roughly equal to John Merrick at an Ogrish convention. In 1976, Reg wrote Illmatic for a joke, but ended up with retrograde amnesia after a freak cripwalking accident in the French Alps.
