"High School Sweethearts" is a satirical take on the stereotypical "perfect" high school romance. In the song, Martinez lays out her requirements for a relationship, which include being willing to accept her eccentricities, being passionate, not making fun of her fashion choices, and being willing to work hard in the relationship. However, if the other person decides to cheat or otherwise violate her trust, she promises to "rip [their] fuckin' face apart".

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