"By Carl Butterfingers, ESEF News BREAKING NEWS: In a scandal that has rocked the music industry, or at least the three people who still care about credits, a man was apprehended last night clutching a Best Producer award that, shockingly, did not belong to him. The suspect, known only as "Dava," was allegedly the ghost producer for Doctor Printer, the drum and bass superstar renowned for his iconic releases of stylized Instagram photographs with his hands in the air and pre-recorded sets that move crowds to tears.

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