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Artist
John Crave
12+ albums
about
John Crave often sings about wheat. He blasts out of open land into the future. Out of the land of the Thundermist and into a private dimension of color and audio textures. A sexxxy universe. During the Ancient Battle of Kelv, Crave wielded his guitar against armies of gorillas and bears, leading his Mighty Children up to the barren mountaintops of deep Eastern Europe. It was here that Crave forged a lion belt from the carbon of the highest peak, thus founding a new civilization of sound. Along with the founding fathers; Kurt Battles, Barry Riffs, Bartleby, Scrap Dog, Endicott, Dahm, and The Bother, Crave harnessed the powers of the earth and the sky. They befriended the Strident Falcons which brought them stalks of grain. They planted the seeds which flourished in the golden light. They ate wheat and it was good. Laser Quails brought them the branches of the maple tree which they planted. They drank maple syrup and it was good. A friendly Power Ape brought them a bee hive. They ate honey and it was good. On the 76th day, the Green Mockingbird led them down the mountain and into a verdant valley full of fruit, flowers and Hot Hotties. The situation was pornified properly and it was good. Yet, as soon as it began it was gone. During the night, John Crave was plucked from the mountaintop and taken aboard a flying ship by Fast Angels. THE REST OF HIS DAYS WOULD BE STRANGE. He never fully recovered from the dark night and he never divulged what happened aboard the ship, bu