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About Evil Nine .. Tom "Is this a good look for me?" Beaufoy and Pat "Yes, you look great!" Pardy accidently became Evil Nine back in 1998 and were stumbled upon as geniuses by Adam Freewizzle who wept at their awesome magnificence and pure, effortless talent. Their bad attitude and rudeness, epitomised by their remix of "Everything I Fuckin' Do" by Bryan Adams, has really stirred up the one legged christian rap sailor scene. Their love of innovation, dianetics and their ability to tweak the dance music format, injecting punk, hip-hop, shitface, goth rock, metal, folk, sci-fi & zombie soundtracks, dancehall, grunge, asscrack, power ballads and their own heavy, dirty, dusty sound into the mix, has been slowly in establishing them as the new golden balls of the all-male choir scene. Heavy support comes from Tony Blair, Richard Pryor, Hall & Oats ("this is the next generation of smooth music..."), R "Pissy" Kelly, HRH Prince Edward ("you guys spin awesome!"), George Bush ("They kicked in the brown door and painted it white on the way out"), Morgan Freeman, Tom cruise, L. Ron Hubbard and DJs right across "the board". Disclaimer: The above facts may not be completely true, if you want a more accurate biography or want to book Evil Nine for your fantastic party then please contact "sam@dex-ray.com" evil nine Crooked ft. Aesop Rock User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.
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