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WHO IS DJ FLIP? by Gorgeous Charisma, Eventage Reporterist, Plowland Daily Mail and Seed Catalog DJ Flip, the Larry Mullen Jr. of hip-hop, first came in the public’s eye…er, no, make that, first came into the public’s eye…no, rather, first came into prominence in the public eye (there, that’s better) after scratching his way to the winner’s seat at the International Turntable Federation’s World Championship in 2003/2004. The “slash” between the years is still a mystery to everyone involved. Was it 2003 or 2004? The answer is lost to the ages. What everyone remembers is that an Irish kid touched his records while they were moving, and for some reason this was worthy of special recognition. So they called him the Scratching Champion…or something. It’s not like he got a crown. Some say it’s a meaningless title, like Miss Universe or Lieutenant Governor. You, gentle reader, might as well be ITF World Champion. It’s just that easy! At any rate, almost no one who saw his performance that day would agree to speak about it. One observer, wishing to remain anonymous, had this to say: “He’s no Qbert, but one thing’s for certain—his scratch-pickle isn’t invisible. We kept asking him to put it away...I mean, there were ladies present!” Local police confirmed at least part of this story. According to Constable Snil Atkerston of the F— Police Department , there indeed were ladies present. He remembers at least two, and one of them wasn’t half bad looking. A brunette, possibly. But he was